It Happens Only In Bollywood – Real vs Reel Life Clichés

Can you imagine Bollywood movies without any songs or dancing around the trees? Or a rich girl falling in love with a poor guy? There are many things that keep happening in Bollywood movies that seem surreally unreal. There are these monotonous clichés that we have lived and grown up watching. But I’m not even talking about the obvious unrealistic sci-fi stuff because those, of course, are imaginary. I’m not even talking about the typical rom-com clichés like rains, walking on the roads post midnight, etc. No, there are a lot of small details that are too hypothetical to go unnoticed.

We bring to you, some small actions that make a movie unreal and some things, which if start happening in real life, would just annoy us a lot.

Things that just DO NOT happen in real life (well, mostly):

1. Giving away The food You Were Supposed To Eat:

You’re at a restaurant and your favourite dish arrives on the table. Now, the dish looks and smells so yumm that you can even eat the plate it’s served in. But, but, here comes the twist. As soon as you are about to take that first bite, you spot a poor guy eyeing your dish with the same hunger. The only difference is that he cannot afford it. So instead of eating it, you decide to share it with that person. Now, what was supposed to be sharedt, is being hogged by that fella alone. And you – you sit there with a smile on your face because you love the person more than you love the dish. You find it cute.

This misconception drives me crazy. If someone does that to me, I might just end up crying. It’s like you don’t even know the person sitting across the table. And yet he is eating away your favourite food. In front of you. Without even offering you a bite from it. No one but Joey can understand the pain of having to even share the food, let alone give it away.

2. Come unannounced:

When your relatives, or your friends, or even your most favorite person in the world comes at your place unannounced, it is never a thing to be happy about. People in movies open the doors and are so happy to see this person come without invitation, probably only because they have layers of makeup on and they don’t really have to clean up the sets of the movies, and decorate it with designer stuff.

I mean if someone did that to me, more than me, it is going to affect them because I will be opening a doorway to hell. I’ll look as beggar-ish as they come, my house will be a mess, there will probably be no food and I’m sure that’s reason enough!

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3. Dial-up coincidence:

The person on the receiving end calls you and you call them at the same point. The same thing happens the second time. And the third time, neither of you call. The fourth time the phone is not reachable. How sick is the synchronization of that?! And then when they can’t contact each other for the fifth time even, it leads to point number 2 – coming unannounced. How can they possibly get through with this?! Grrr!

I don’t think such coincidences happen in real life. Maybe just once, but if they don’t call up the second time we only leave a message, right?! If this happens to me more than a few times, I’ll just stop contacting that person forever. Technology is supposed to make your life easier, not more stressful.

4. Smiling at strangers:

There is a thin line between being friendly and being a creep. Turns out that line is the curve of your smile. In movies, people are happily moving around, smiling at strangers, which is normal only in movies. What’s not normal is having them smile back at you! Here in India, you can be sitting in a sharing rickshaw with a person and that same person can be your interviewer and you still wouldn’t even know, because people are not that polite. They think smiling at a stranger is weird and only idiots do that.

5. Happy Endings:

No matter how deep shit the lead characters are in, they always end up coming out of it as the movie is about to end. And why not! Who wouldn’t like a happy ending. Personally speaking, I love to see any movie ending on a happy note. But Bollywood at times go overboard with the happiness. The vamps suddenly have a change of heart. A murderer becomes a nice man and everyone accepts him as an innocent man, including the police. At least be realistic happy!

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6. Friends hanging out with one another almost every day.

If you’re staying with your parents this just doesn’t happen.

If you stay alone, your friends get so busy that they just don’t meet you. Even if they do, it is once in 3 months. Especially when they want an empty house to party – sasta sundar aur tikau. But otherwise, nobody has time to meet you and hang out with you every other day. Some wise person once said, “Unplanned hangouts are the best because planned hangouts never happen!” This is just so true. If you decide to go out, at least three people in the group will have an instant answer ready – NO! There is always timing, money, health or some or the other issue if you decide to meet your group of friends more than twice in a month. Going out partying, eating outside almost every week together this is just NOT true.

Commercial movies have been giving us unrealistic expectations and hopes ever since we were kids. So, the next time you find yourself praying at a mosque, church, or a temple, don’t forget to be thankful for the art movies or ‘Bad looking-good acting’ movies as our very own dumbass, Sonam Kapoor calls them.

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