The Award Season is here. Everyone is giving awards to everyone under categories – genuine and ‘invented’ like ‘Most promising actor of 2010 from during the period April-June’. Earlier everyone looked forward to Filmfare but nowadays, no-one gives a fuck. There are so many functions now. Almost every channel has come out with its own show.
In this award hysteria, how can CG be left behind? So, heres presenting the most coveted awards of 201o season – CHU****AP AWARDS !
(1) DEER CAUGHT IN HEAD-LIGHTS ACT
Shahid Kapoor – for being caught in shorts (only) at 8.30 AM in Priyanka Chopra’s house by Income Tax authorities when they raided the damsel. The dude cant even give the usual BS of, “We are just good friends”!
(2) MOST RIDICULOUS CONTROVERSY
SRK – Salman fight. Seriously, we dont give a shit. Those who do have nothing but shit in their damn brains. All gossip columns however, are behaving like WW3 is going on. All that is left to see now is breaking news on INDIA TV- “SRK Air Force bombards Salman’s house – 3 blackbucks killed!”
(3) MAHA-CHU***AP OF THE YEAR
Telecom Scam (CAG estimates: Rs 1.73 lac Cr). Happened right under PM’s nose and he didnt even know about it. Or maybe he did but couldnt take action because of coalition’s danda thats stuck way up his ass. This is the real chu***ap. And to top it all- new telecom minister, Kapil Sibbal doubted CAG’s findings instead of setting the wrongs right. This is a classic case of cheating on your spouse and then calling them to say they sucked in bed!
(4) BIGGEST DUMBFUCK(s) OF THE YEAR
This ones a tie! Jointly awarded to Rahul Mahajan and Rakhi Sawant. For bringing ‘insaaf’ to millions worldwide. To all the Supreme court judges, this is how justice is done! You morons know nothing goddammit!!!
(5) FUCKED FROM BOTH SIDES – SPECIAL AWARD
This one goes to the people of West Bengal. While neighboring Bihar had a pretty good alternative to Lalu’s misrule, Bengal has – Mamta Bannerjee – as the answer to the Left. God help them!
(6) BEST COMEDY ACT OF THE YEAR
Pakistan. They all know that their nation resembles an ‘about to die soon’ 80 year old prostitute – no-one cares about her but she believes she still has the mojo. Despite that, they all behave like pricks. Their PM, Prez and Army Gens talk as if they are the world’s strongest nation. And to top it all, their Chief De Mission for CWG blasted the authorities because their rooms were dirty! You are coming from a jehadi shitland and you criticise us! This sure made me laugh alright.
(7) INDIA TV AWARD
This special award is given to the most creatively ridiculous India TV story of the year. And this time the award goes to
Look at the guy on the right – An “expert” on the topic. How in Lord’s name India TV finds these people? Amazing!
Thats for the Chu***ap Awards 2010. I am sure you must have enjoyed them. Cong-rats to all the winners. Rats to the losers. And ofcourse, a big thanks to our sponsors – Musli Power Extra.
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