If you happen to live in the National Capital Region of India (NCR) then you are no stranger to this monument of Modern Dilli. From Noida to Badarpur, Gurgaon to Faridabad – divided by borders, connected by the metro.
Among other things, your time in the metro is the perfect opportunity for observing human behaviour. Most of us who take the metro on a regular basis have more or less already judged the people around us in the first fifteen minutes of our ride time. Over months of careful research and planning, we were able to categorise the various types of people one finds in the metro:
1) The Romeo Juliet:
Couples holding hands, sharing headphones and gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. Seen it all! Who needs to go to a restaurant for a date when you’ve got the metro? From ‘Shona Baby‘ to ‘Cool yo‘, one sees all variations of couples. *Ugh*
2) The Fighter Aunty:
There is one of her kind in every compartment of the metro, but more so in the ladies compartment. In she walks, elbowing anyone who dares to come in her way. She is an expert in the art of seat grabbing. God save you if you happen to be sitting on the seat reserved for ladies in the general compartment, for you will be unseated faster than Pannerselvam in Tamil Nadu.
3) The Daanveer Karna of seats:
They are the kind hearted seat givers. Whether it is an older gentleman or a pregnant lady, our seat giver springs up from their’s and offers it to the person in need.
4) The “I carry my Theatre with me” person:
When you spend almost three hours in the metro everyday, turning it into your personal movie hall is not a bad idea. Armed with the latest movie that is available on torrent, they are ready with headphones in their ears.
5) Gossip girls:
Generally travelling in groups of twos and threes, these girls consider it their birthright to dissect and judge other people. Subtly pointing (and sometimes not so subtly) at people and smirking, giggling and whispering into each other’s ears are some of their characteristics.
6)The Pole dancer:
Apparently the poles in the metro are rather enticing, and some people put it to full use. They will grab the pole and rest all of their body weight on it. They will casually lean or rest their backs on it. To hell with other people who might want to use it to steady themselves. The pole is their birthright.
7) The Encroachment officer:
If land grabbing was an Olympic sport, India would have a lot of gold medals. They’ll fit into any space available on the seat. (Thoda thoda shift hojaiyye dekhiye jagah banjayegi). It is their life’s mission to slowly push the person sitting next to them into obscurity and grab all the space that is available.
8) The Midway Muncher:
Irony dies a cruel death when people open their lunch and boxes right beneath a sticker that prohibits eating in the metro. From fruits, noodles, parathas to dry fruits, these people carry three course meals along with themselves. These meals, ofcourse, must be consumed in the metro.
9) The ones with the annoying kids:
Some people decide to bring their kids along. Or, some just have to. These people walk in with their bratty kids and expect the rest of the passengers to suffer with them. While others quietly watch, their kids scream, jump in the compartment and insist on standing on the seats. Mothers with wailing babies, we understand you can’t help it.
10) The call centre boss:
Since telephone connectivity inside the metro is perfect, they insist on conducting all their business on the cell phone, INSIDE the metro. From checking if their kids went to school to asking if their company got the tender, they will loudly discuss all matters over the phone, educating the people around.
Even with all these characters, we prefer the metro to Delhi’s traffic jams every day. Whats a little pungent smell (Read fart, mustard hair oil, body odor) compared to constant air conditioning? After all, life is full of entertainment when you know where to look for it.
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