Different Colors of Terrorism

// This post is sponsored by Asian Paints.

India is truly a land of colors. While other countries have simple boring terrorism; we have multi-colored terrorism. Thanks to logical, patriotic and popular politicians like Digvijaya Singh ji; we now define terrorism in various different colors. Lets now have an analysis on various shades of terrorism:

Anything for those virgins!

‘GREEN’ TERRORISM

  • The deadliest. Americans call it ‘The religion that shall not be named’ terrorism.
  • Perpetuated by brainwashed Jehadis who think that the ‘sacrifice’ will lead them to a harem full of 72 virgins. Frankly, does God have a factory or something to produce so many virgins in bulk?
  • Biggest supporters include Pakistan, Digvijaya ji and Arundhati ji.
  • Doesnt really like India, Israel and the USA. The late Osama ji had even created a facebook event – ‘Destruction of India’ – on his profile.
  • Biggest disadvantage: Due to the acts of some people, a majority of other members of the community face discrimination & harassment.

Am I Awesome or what!

SAFFRON’ TERRORISM
  • The term was coined by Digvijaya ji. No-one knew it existed before.
  • Fuckups like Swami Aseemanand are the chief perpetrators.
  • Although existing in an infinitely small quantity, is still blamed for everything  – from terror attacks on country to Rahul ji’s constipation – by Digvijaya ji.
  • Helps patriotic people like Arundhati ji feel smug
  • Biggest disadvantage: Has confused Hindus all over because if Digvijaya ji is right, “Saffron terrorists” even attacked Varanasi !

 

We fight for poor and capture land. Win-Win!

RED TERRORISM’

  • Biggest perpetrators are Naxalites.
  • Often found in .. O fuck! almost 30% of the districts in India!
  • Apparently, fighting against the state’s brutal negligence and high-handedness. This ’cause’ has compelled even ourPM to ask -‘Hain! What the Bencho?’
  • Arundhati ji is the mascot, chief spokesperson, chief advisor, chief human rights watcher, chief .. ah, watever.

 

BLUE-BLACK TERRORISM

  • Self-invented.
  • Refers to the ‘fuckin of our asses till they are black & blue’ by the Govt. Its because of the state’s apathy towards everything that concerns the common man – Safety , security, clean drinking water, red tapism, food security, corruption etc etc.
  • Can also include the terror induced upon the common people by the likes of Arnab Goswami, Barkha Dutt, Rakhi sawant etc. And not to forget the guy who hosts ‘Sansani’.
Thats all for now folks. The various shades of terrorism. Ah, I wish Govt. didnt try to drive a wedge between religions by re-defining terrorism but well, what can you say to intelligent people like Digvijay ji? As for the common man – Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian , people of other religions , atheists – we are all  doomed !
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