Happy Whatever Day

Tricolor[Editor’s Note: We, at Campusghanta, consider ourselves new age rebels. No matter how fashionable or modern we become, we shall be eternal patriots. This often leaves us in conflicting places where we are accused of being patriotic only on 15th August or 26th January. We look at it a bit differently. You are always thankful for being alive but celebrate it only on your birthday with parties, night outs and what not. Likewise, we don’t get a sudden new batch of hormones every Independence and Republic Days but on days like these, we like to carry it on our sleeve and portray with pride what our forefathers and freedom fighters worked so hard for. For once lets shift from ‘Is desh ka kuch nahi ho sakta’ to ‘Is desh ka hum kuch karenge’. You are welcome to join us in our Independence week celebrations. Throughout this week, we shall discuss India’s past, present and Future in our own way.
You can read the Part-1 of this series “Kakori ke Veeron Se Parichay” here]

Do you remember this Devang Patel song?

(This video is a medley. I referred to the first song. But you might as well listen to them all. Genius, this man.)

He managed to illustrate several sad-but-true stereotypes of our society in one parody song. If Se7en was made in Hindi, then Kevin Spacey would have had to kill just any random guy and the movie would have been done. We are a cesspool of bad habits and double standards and hypocrisy. And all this is now a part of our genetic code. Miracles can’t clean it, let alone Kejriwal’s Jhaadu. There are a few things that irk me in particular. Things that may seem trivial, but go a long way to show what our mentality really is.

Mera Bharat Mahan. “Our country is the best. If you say otherwise, you are a fucking Pakistani!” This is what happens when you let Sunny Deol movies happen. Every one is over-patriotic. But only when it comes to Pakistan. Otherwise we all hate every other part of the country, except the one where we were born and brought up. There is no unity among the people. Punjabis hate Biharis. Marathis hate Bhaiyyas. Everyone feels that Madrasis are weird and no one gives two shits about the North-East. And yet we cry “Mera Bharat Mahan”

Sajadi smokes a bidi at a roadside on the outskirts of New DelhiHow we look at women who smoke. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how one might have reached this conclusion, but Indian men have this notion that a woman smoker is a slut. Hmm. So much for old aunties in villages who smoke bidis and hookahs. I have seen it happening a countless times. Every time a female friend of mine lights up a cigarette in a public place, people immediately stare. Bro, she is smoking, she isn’t giving a public blowjob. Uncles look at her with eyes filled with judgement and retribution for this blasphemy. Biker Boiz look at her with lust. “Sutta maarti hai, toh asaani se deti bhi hogi yeh toh.” I don’t even. And its not just the men. Women too get judgmental. This one time, a woman looked at my friend smoking and actually said “Haaye Ram! Ladki cigarette pi rahi hai, Kaliyug aa gaya hai. Ram Ram!” Sigh. It is harmful for health but not selectively. It’s harmful for both the sexes. Why this discrimination?

Students-throw-smashed-tomatoes-at-one-another-at-Tomato-Splash-Festival-in-Bangalore-Sirf Hamare saath hi bura hota rehta hai. No. Being from India, you should be well aware of a thing called Karma. You reap what you sow. You cry about others asking you to adjust with the metro-seat, when you have done the exact same thing countless times before. You don’t give your house, on rent, to bachelors and you raise hell when your kids don’t get a place to live, in an alien city. You dump your garbage in front of the neighbor’s house and yet you complain about the stink in your neighborhood. You want to waste tonnes of food in shitty wannabe-Spanish, Tomatina festivals and cry when tomato prices hike. You pay the cop to avoid a Challan and then cry about corrupt cops. You let your kids get away with whatever they want and cry when they get arrested for rape. You kept on telling your son that don’t marry a Muslim girl, you put in the hate, you fed them the propaganda, you made sure secularism was just a word, now you weep over the dead body of your son, after a Hindu-Muslim riot. You are at fault. No. We are at fault.

I don’t presume to tell people what to do. But I hope to try and NOT do the things that might in anyway, some day, help breed another batch of problems in this already decaying nation.

Happy Whatever Day.

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