How To Survive Something Boring

Admit it. Whether you’re a student, a trainee in a relatively big yet horribly taxing company or just another boyfriend standing in front of his girlfriend listening to her talk, you have faced the situation of extreme boredom at least once in such scenarios. The kind of boredom that, at its zenith, makes your eyes tear up in sorrow and sleep and leaves your mouth permanently agape (which is worse because you know you’re yawning whereas the person – or people – boring you might believe that you are constantly fascinated by what they’re saying). For that reason, we have compiled a few tips about how to combat massive boredom situations-

 

Boredom is a warm chair in the conference room

Scenario # 1 : Meetings That Kill – If you’re not the only one suffering and happen to be with a group of people stuck in a similar situation as yours, it could prove to be the silver lining to this ostensibly grey cloud. Look up and carefully observe other people’s facial expressions (they can be the cause of much hilarity). You will definitely find that one colleague who, in all his ignorance, thinks that nobody is watching him and tries to dig his nose. Or the other gentleman in front of you practically drooling like a grown up toddler. Laugh internally, make sure you don’t look silly yourself and click a few pictures for subsequent blackmail.

Even hard wooden tables seem comfortable during lectures

Scenario # 2 : Lectures a.k.a Lullaby – The student community shall agree that the most difficult period in their lives is the first  lecture right in the morning at some ungodly hour, especially during winters. Firstly, you have grudgingly dragged yourself out of bed only for this abomination of a man  talking about some obscure theory proposed much before your great grand-father was born. This is a good time to socialise old school- Tear out a page (silently, you don’t want to make it a dramatic courtroom scene) and start a conversation. Pass it around with the stealth of a ninja. It’s something that can never replace text messaging in class.

Pushing like there's no tomorrow

Scenario # 3 : Waiting in Lines– Our beautiful, culturally-blessed, diverse country has ensured that the tradition of standing in lines is never lost in the passage of time. For however rapidly the world has progressed no amount of technology shall replace the need to stand in lines. This is a good time to start working on that bubble gum till you can blow a big enough bubble. Then pop it loudly. You shall prove to be good amusement. Also an excellent time to hum your favourite tune, making up most of the lyrics. Looking at the instability of it all, you might just be able to convince people into organising a “Waiting-In-Passport-Office-Line” flash mob.

Scenario # 4 : Flying Solo – You’re sitting in the worst possible seat in the aircraft- sandwich seat. You know, the one where you suddenly feel like the ham in a ham and cheese grilled sandwich. There is no television and your view of the air-hostess is permanently blocked by the person next to you. First, inconvenience your co-passenger by taking a bathroom break where you actually go and talk to one of the flight attendants instead (about the weather outside). Come back and strike up conversation with co-passenger with the generic yet effective “Hey! Which arm-rest-volume-adjuster is mine?”. Caution: Do not, at any point of conversation, ask co-passenger where he’s going. You’re on the same flight.

The Crazy Girlfriend praying Mantis

Scenario # 5 : Jaanu! I love you na – Imagine the voice of a three year old squeaky girl who has learnt many new words and tries to use them all in the same sentence all the time. Also imagine the face of the love of your life, the cynosure of your affections, the star of all your dreams (*cough*). Now combine the two things. Disturbing. Welcome to the scenario of girlfriend cuddle talk. In this situation, you are completely alone buddy. Only two things can save you- One: The general stage fright advice applies here even more- Imagine her in her underwear. Two: Lean in and plant a nice kiss on her. That will shut her up and not offend her feelings. Not to mention, your impromptu act could lead to desirable adult situations (don’t talk more, kids are watching).

A few of the occasions my dears, where you realise that boredom is the enemy but you don’t seem to have a loaded gun. Do let me know how you have managed to survive some of those long, dreary moments without ripping your hair our with a hot-iron plucker.

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