Jet Airways – The Godman Who Got Jodhpur-Delhi in 9W-H0TME55

I love travelling by air. The whole international feel to the airport, the luxury of literally flying among the clouds at nearly the speed of sound, the sodium rich, tiny portions of food on board, the cabin crew taking good care of all passengers, everything combined makes us all feel equally important.

But that wasn’t the case for the passengers on board Jet Airways flight 2552. The flight had a very special guest in a classic white one-piece on board. And no, I’m not talking about a Bollywood A-lister actress. It was the people loving (specially children) Ass-haram Asaram Bapu and his 15 odd bullies devotees. Damn autocorrect!

Since God’s own man had to board the aircraft, the aircraft had to go through a religious cleansing while Bapu and his 10-15 followers (who were travelling just to give company to their buddy) arrived at the airport. This rendered the flight to a delay by nearly 2 hours. God had also given strict instructions to not make announcements to the stranded passengers about the same because, eh why not! My Uber driver won’t even wait for me while I finish my lunch. If only I wore a onesie and showed affection to people the way Bapu does. When the boarding started, guess who was given priority to board? Ding Ding Ding! Correct! Mr Sassy White Beard and his chuddy buddies!

Imagine being cramped up in a long hollow tube with 150 odd people with low air conditioning. That’s what greeted the passengers when they finally boarded the aircraft. According to the staff, there was a technical glitch with the air conditioning, but everyone knows that a 75 year old God man feels colder than mere earthlings. Thus the entire flight went on with low air conditioning. Sure, a onesie keeps Bapu cool and ventilated through air inlets but what about the others?

India has recently had a religious awakening, not to worship stone idols so they found a living one. Ladies and Gentleman, please fasten your seat belts. Or don’t, you know, if you’re fairly confident that nothing’s going to happen since God himself is travelling with you. Yes, when asked to fasten their seat belts, the devotees said exactly this. Because God, who’s on board in the same aircraft will save your bones from cracking in case of an emergency. Also, hats off to India’s literacy because some of the followers thought that the aircraft was an AirBUS quite literally. They were seen standing at the time of take off. *3 slow claps* I’m fairly certain one of them asked to get off en route because his stop had come and was pissed when the pilot didn’t let him.

Jet Airways should learn a thing or two from Vistara, who recently (and shockingly) let an aircraft depart on time, despite the fact that Sallu Bhai, who was supposed to travel, was late and was denied boarding.

But then Jet did have the privilege of carrying the God man himself so maybe we’ll let this one go by, yes?

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