Long Live The ComMODE – Comrades & Marxists Of Delhi

This is NOT an article or things like that. This is just an appeal. An appeal to all my fellow like-minded jholachaps i.e. liberals who believe in freedom, revolution, kraanti etc to help and join us in our cause to ‘Set up a truly Leftist Liberal (LoL) State in the heart of Delhi”. For this, we have set up an organization – ComMODE (Comrades & Marxists Of Delhi).

For long, we have suffered slurs and criticism that we leftists are out of sync with reality and all that bullshit about Marx being irrelevant in modern era. Whenever we protest at JNU or Jantar Mantar, passersby tell us to ‘find our own place’. Last time, some Haryanvi policemen beat us at Jantar Mantar when we protested against not serving beef at Dhabas in DU. Thankfully, my ass went red with beating. I cant tolerate any other color except red. Red is fine.

These atrocities have prompted us to form ComMODE. And we implore all like-minded leftists to join us or support us. We have identified the area around JNU (excluding Munirka – So downmarket) to be our base with School of Social Sciences, JNU as our Capital. For this, we shall struggle. We shall do Kraanti. That fascist tea seller started ‘Chai pe charcha’ no? We shall start ‘Kranti pe Party’ offering free booze and a free Mia Khalifa DVDs to anyone who joins. The simple aim of ComMode is to overthrow this fascist government from areas around JNU and set up a totalitarian ..err.. leftist liberal state where there is abundance of freedom to do anything your heart desires. We promise we won’t shoot anyone for gay sex or criticizing us. Or maybe we will. But that’s for later.

Enhanced res

ComMODE will organize peaceful candle light vigils and marches throughout Delhi in places where there is metro connectivity and which have FabIndia outlets. We can’t compromise on our ethos or FabIndia. These vigils and marches will force the Government to rethink its stance regarding us. Of course, there will be instances where there will be Haryanvi cops unleashed on us but for that, we will provide books written by fascist right-wingers to be used as Ass-guards. On a happier note, we have already secured support of some prominent comrades such as Raindhuti Roy, S. Kachouri, Half-is Sayed and Porekaas & Linda 24 Karat. Non-biased media persons like Khaajdeep, Borekha and Sourika will be covering our freedom struggle. And we expect that Shri Rofl Gandi and Orwind Kejribaal will also support us as we are fighting this fascist, rightwing, mass murderer, nazi, ass-beater, Sanghi Government.

The agenda of ComMode includes setting up a provincial Government with School of Social Sciences, JNU as its capital seat. We will have our own ministries such as Revolutionary Finance which will look after our finances and if something is left after spending on ‘revolution’, we will think about basic needs of ‘citizens’. But I think a bottle of Old Monk will please and satisfy our kraantikaaris. Then there will be Ministry of Human Affairs which will be used to, well, we don’t need to write it down for you *wink wink*. But most important will be the Ministry of Kraanti which will collaborate with the neighbouring Delhi Govt and do regular dharnas at Jantar Mantar against that fascist tea seller and RSS. Damn, I hate RSS! I have even banned RSS feeds bhencho. Although my ‘partner’ finds their shorts very sexy. Bourgeois people!

However, we will not have our army or fancy stuff like that. Just like our icons, Mao and Stalin, we shall have ‘internal police’, in case some bourgeois person decides to shout ‘Vande Mataram’. JNU already has many ‘teachers’ with contacts to peaceful people like Naxals which can come handy. We shall be very strict against violence unless perpetrated by us, which will only be to contain rogue right-wing, fascist, tea-selling elements.

Ah! Such lofty ideals and dreams. Only we are capable of such liberating dreams. This kinda powerful stuff dreamt by those fascist idiots. I bet their best dream must be to see the Tricolor flying high proudly as a symbol of a strong and confident India. Bullcrap! Such dreams are nothing for they don’t have anything to do with the Revolution.

We shall fight. We shall do kraanti. And we shall win.



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