[Editor’s Note: We, at Campusghanta, consider ourselves new age rebels. No matter how fashionable or modern we become, we shall be eternal patriots. This often leaves us in conflicting places where we are accused of being patriotic only on 15th August or 26th January. We look at it a bit differently. You are always thankful for being alive but celebrate it only on your birthday with parties, night outs and what not. Likewise, we don’t get a sudden new batch of hormones on every Independence and Republic Day but on days like these, we like to carry it on our sleeve and portray with pride what our forefathers and freedom fighters worked so hard for. Throughout this week, we shall discuss India’s past, present and Future in our own way. You can read the entire series here.
Today our author takes a satirical dig on how India is being divided and ruined by the means of Intellectual terrorism.]
There are many secret societies in the world – The Priory of Sion, Knight Templars, Fans of Ram Gopal Verma etc. But there is one society whose sole goal is destruction. Of a whole country – India. Nobody knows the name of this society but for ease of understanding, we will name it- ‘Destroy India’. It was founded by none other than Lord McCauley who started the destruction by implementing his flawed and clerical education system in the 19th Century thereby replacing the erstwhile existing proud and logical Indian education system.
Over time, the society grew and many new members enlisted themselves. Strangely, the society’s membership grew exponentially AFTER 1947 when we became “independent”. CG has an EXCLUSIVE list of such people but we don’t want the government machinery to ban our site. Nowadays, some of the prominent members include the following:
> A highly regarded Booker winner female author
> (Shockingly) A very powerful lady of foreign origin
> (More shockingly) A “popular” youth icon
> A highly regarded female journalist whose first name translates to ‘Rain’ in English.
> Many prominent pseudo-secularists residing in Kashmir, Kolkata, Lutyens’ Delhi area and ofcourse, Bihar.
This society has a blueprint, a mission to destroy India (well, Duh!). CG has gotten hold of their latest “checklist” where they have mentioned their point-wise ongoing missions and their current statuses. So, here’s that checklist – EXCLUSIVELY for CG Readers :
1) Fill up everyone’s minds that proclaiming ‘I am a Hindu’. The word ‘Hindu’ should invoke fear in all Muslims.
Status: Highly Satisfactory progress.
2) Keep majority of the country poor and illiterate and hand out doles to get votes
Status : DONE. YAY!
3) The Education system should actually corrupt the youth and they should start looking at India’s proud culture with disdain
Status : SUPER DUPER SATISFACTORY PROGRESS
4) Demotivate the youth so much that they stop caring for anything important and focus on issues such as Salman-SRK ‘rivalry’
Status : DONE. YAYYAY!
5) Fill up every corner of the country with either of ISI operated cells / Naxals / Pseudo-secularists
Status : ALMOST THERE
6) Increase the rich-poor divide so much that Urban India and Rural Bharat are always at loggerheads.
Status : In progress
Status: DONE DONE DONE !
8) Appease anti-India forces such as Pakistan
Status : Yeah! Because Ahimsa and all that crap.
9) Hindu-Muslim, Marathi-Bihari, Brahmin-Dalit, Delhi-Mumbai …… Make them Fight Divide the entire fuckin nation.
STATUS : High Five Bitches!
10) Nationalism should mean backwardness and supporting ‘human rights’ of terrorists should be the bench mark of an intellectual.
STATUS : Yes Yes Yes!
The checklist has several other points but we dont want to depress you further. This should be enough for you to introspect and rise for the country. If it doesnt motivate you, then well – nothing – Enjoy the holiday on 15th August :)
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