Science Is Tired Of Offending Me

ScienceThink of 2015 that has passed by. Think of all the things you did. Think of all the things that happened. It’s been a good year, it’s been a bad year, and for me it has been trying to finish my subject without losing my head. My subject of study is Science, Life Science. For almost six years, I’ve been trying to increase the wrinkles in my brain, learning about minutiae of the universe – microbes, diseases, organs, food, cells, molecules, biology. Science has become such an integral part of my life that I think everything at the core science level. From the minute I wake up, (my circadian rhythm is screwed) to brushing my teeth, (scrubbing biofilm off my teeth enamel aka calcium fluoroxyapatite… hmm, how much tissue from my gum did I scrape off) to taking a shower, (I’m washing off the good and bad bacteria off the body, wonder what is their generation time?) to eating food, (NOT calories. I’m talking free energy and ATP and vitamin levels.) to sleeping again (my circadian rhythm is screwed.)

Science is a beautiful subject, you know? I really appreciate it if non-Science stream students make an effort to understand the subject. Since centuries, science has abolished blind faith and superstitions and any mumbo-jumbo. Science is how we live, and necessary to understand.

So why am I writing this article with such a loathsome title? How is science offending me and you?

We’ll get to it. Science has never offended me, even the hard, unswallowable, bitter-aftertaste facts. But even if we all have the same DNA, we cannot think the same. There has to be some douche who hates kittens and puppies, somewhere.

Hatred and 2015 went hand-in-hand. We witnessed massive calamities, terrorist attacks, dying children, disappointment and shared unnecessary Facebook videos. We have all seen more people than ever getting offended over anything and everything. And not over the abovementioned problems, anything.

I’m not offended over this guy because he/she/it was allegedly sexist, misogynist, leftist, chauvinist, racist, butttits, or any ist. I’m not even offended because I personally hate that person. The thing is, I don’t know why I am offended. Oh, my thighs are burning by letting my laptop sit on them for hours because I don’t do anything in real life.

We have had SJWs, fauxmenists, meninists, (Clever marketing campaign to sell T-shirts, you know.) people who support Donald Trump and people whose brains haven’t frozen in the motor regions.

Science can be such a nebulous, vague subject to get offended with. It’s vast. Every statement has an extremely deep meaning. You can’t just hate any fact right away. But thanks to the internet and freedom of speech, derivatizations of facts have been carried out and some special snowflake gets offended over an issue. For example, 2015 has showcased such unnerving incidents, such as this one so-called feminist who thought supermarket shelves were sexist because copies of New Scientist were placed in the Men’s section, while ignoring that Top Gear was not placed in the women’s section and Vogue wasn’t placed in the men’s section.

Not affecting you in any way? Let’s go to 2014.

We know how Matt Taylor, astrophysicist with amazing tattoos, who was a part of European Space Agency’s Rosetta spacecraft mission, such a humungous achievement in the field of astronomy was reduced to tears for wearing a shirt that depicted Barbarella-style skimpy clothed women wielding guns and dressed up in bondage gear. For wearing a shirt.

I loved that shirt. Hot women in Technicolor. And it was designed by a woman. But nope, women in tiny clothes hurt eyes. Misogynist douche.

Imagine these Social Justice Warriors (SJWs), who show clear talent, or lack thereof, trying to read my Genetics textbook. Or even a biology textbook. They’d be triggered so hard. Excerpts from an imaginary reading:

Science plebe Rajvi makes fun of SJWs!!

1 “Male and Female diploid individuals with different known genes produce haploid gametes by mitotic divisions and fertilize to form zygote.”

Meaning: Dude and chick have a hump time and make a baby. Also, we’ve learnt in biology that our baby-making cells combine together to form a zygote which makes a… well… baby. No mention of anything else whatsoever.

SJW: EXCUSE ME, BUT WHY IS EVERYTHING SEPARATED INTO MALE AND FEMALE? I AM SICK OF THIS RUBBISH OF BEING CONSTANTLY REMINDED THAT BINARY GENDERS RULE! MALE AND FEMALE? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PRONOUNS I MADE UP MYSELF? WHY AREN’T THE NON BINARY GENDERS REPRODUCING? I HAVE MADE UP PROOF THAT HOMOSEXUALS CAN PROCREATE, BECAUSE I FELT LIKE! This is disrespectful and the creators of this rubbish need to check their privileges and see the existence of other genders. I believe these individuals should be called Apple and Potato.

2 “pSC101 became the first patented commercial DNA cloning vector, SC stands for Stanley Cohen.”

Meaning: You must know how big biotech companies and laboratories are making new organisms like plants and animals every year by inserting these so-called “genes” you have heard about. It’s cloning. pSC101 is a code for such a small gene! Since Cohen discovered it, he set the name so and it’s really common nowadays to name genes after a couple of initials. Vectors, plasmids, DNA, all genes! Genetics is awesome!

SJW: As a fellow human being a victim of being ignored, I want to say that HOW DARE YOU PROMOTE TOTALITARIAN PRINCIPLES? THIS STANLEY COHEN FELLOW DID NOT WORK ALONE IN THE LAB, WHY IS HE THE ONLY ONE GIVEN CREDIT? DO YOU KNOW THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO DIE EVERY YEAR DUE TO LACK OF CREDIT? I am of the opinion that we need to rename this gene while giving due credit to every scientist involved in this. pSCGHTOQUXYTUX101. Doesn’t that sound progressive?

3 “In the dark-field microscope, the illuminating rays of light are directed from the side so that only scattered Light enters the microscope lenses. Consequently, the cell appears as a bright object against a dark background. With a normal bright-field microscope, light passing through a cell in culture forms the image directly.”

Meaning: We use microscopes on a large scale to observe small objects, like we use spectacles to view illegible words or telescopes to view faraway objects. We tweak the properties of light to view microscopic objects, and it’s basically perception and focus. Different backgrounds can be used to create a sort of a contrast, to make viewing sharper.

SJW from Tumblr: Why do we have to divide everything into light and dark? When did dark become a bad thing? The word dark, triggers me. I feel like reciting some dumb poetry from my blog but then you are too low to understand it. Light passes through dark, too. I completely disregard my lack of education to understand Physics, but I need to protect my virginity ASAP.

4 “In Recombinant DNA Technology, the host cells that take up the DNA construct (transformed cells) are identified and selected (separated, or isolated) from those that do not.”

Collective-Invention-630x295Meaning: Well, if you want to create a hybrid between a tiger and a squirrel, you need to take DNA from one animal and shove it in the cell of another animal. That is just the concept of the so-called “transformation”. Transformation occurs naturally and also can be carried out in the lab. Obviously, I’ve said it in a layman term; it is way more complicated, but after these cells are “transformed”, we need to separate them from those who aren’t, because the efficiency is not a hundred percent.

SJW: THE WORD ISOLATION IS MY TRIGGER WORD. HOW DARE YOU ISOLATE THAT POOR LITTLE INNOCENT CELL AWAY FROM ITS FAMILY? CELLS HAVE FAMILIES TOO, I HAVE IMAGINED IT OUT OF MY BOREDOM! WHO CARES ABOUT YOU EXPLAINING MEANINGS, I WILL PICK OUT ANY THING FROM YOUR STATEMENT AND GET OFFENDED. SCIENCE DID 9/11.

Obviously, all of this has been made up, SJWs are way too dumb to even understand textbooks, but they have already become too close for comfort on social media; it’s all possible. Go to any science or animal related topic being shared or discussed on any website and someone needs to be triggered, pissed or nonsensical. But you be the better person!

Science is all about seeing the possibilities, testing a hypothesis, debunking myths and respecting and fairly evaluating opinions. I hope you, viewers understand, and chuckle a little every time you read a science article!

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