SLAPGATE : WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED — CG INVESTIGATES

As all of you know, CG stands for quality shit (not literally though, that’s Campus Ghanta – Captain Obvious). We always try to bring quality content to our readers. And sometimes we even risk our lives for that. The ‘Slapgate’ incident is one such thing.

After the idiotic incident, everyone came out with their own versions. We decided to put an end to the controversy by investigating on our own. You see, we have some highly reliable ‘sources’ in the film fraternity.

So, here it is – WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED ON THE NIGHT OF 29th/30th JAN 2012 —

 

 

CG INVESTIGATES 

3 AM  –  Filmfare awards ceremony ends. SRK decides to leave the venue. But first, he decides to take a piss (Our ‘sources’ were in the loo)

3.17 AM – SRK  gets done with the piss. Murmurs ‘I wish Karan was here with me’. Leaves for his car.

3.32 AM – Sits in a car. Realises that it’s Priyanka Chopra’s instead. Both laugh, kiss and SRK gets out to find his own car.

3.45 AM – Spots Salman. Ignores him. Salman shouts something about Ra.One. SRK shouts ‘chutiye’ back.

3.51 AM – SRK leaves for Sanjay Dutt’s party.

4.05 AM – Dozes off in the car.

4:25:10 AM – Reaches the party venue. Spots Priyanka. They kiss again, laugh and go inside.

4:25:20 AM – Side heroes of bollywood murmur ‘Lucky Bastard!’

4:30 AM – SRK hugs Sanju. Priyanka hugs Sanju. SRK hugs Priyanka and kisses her.

4.35 AM – Shirish Kunder spots SRK. Jokes about Ra.One.

4.40 AM – Kunder gets totally drunk. Decides to follow SRK everywhere.

4.50 AM – SRK asks him not to behave like the Vodafone pug as he uses Airtel. Shirish asks him about Ra.One.

4.51 AM – SRK tells Kunder that he’ll complain to his mommy, Farah Khan.

4.55 AM to 5.10 AM – Kunder keeps following SRK everywhere. Even to the loo.

5.12 AM – Kunder asks SRK about Priyanka Chopra.

5.14 AM – A seething SRK goes upto Priyanka. Kisses her. Comes back and slaps Kunder.

5.16 AM – Sanju intervenes. Kunder tells him that he is the worst comic actor ever and asks him to back off.

5.18 AM – Sanju slaps Kunder.

5.30 AM- Kunder decides to leave the party after applying an ice pack.

5.45 AM – SRK and Sanju also leave. Before that SRK kisses… o well, you know.

5.55 AM – Party starts to wrap up. Everyone starts leaving. Some pounce on the leftover daaru.

End of story.

CG detectives kept following this story stealthily and brought our readers a TRUE account of what ACTUALLY happened at that party. Hats off to the guys. We are better than Scotland Yard. If only the CBI would understand our true potential.

 

 

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