He 1: iPhone? Duh! It doesn’t even have bluetooth!
He 2: <This argument is so 2008>
By the time you read this article, I’ll be busy flaunting my iPhone in the public somewhere. Oh yes, that so happens with people who are obsessed with iPhone. No no, they don’t want to flaunt their phone or status, it just happens automatically. Just like so many other people who are obsessed with NaMo and Indian politics, there are these people who don’t give a damn about such trivial things and focus on showing off their love towards their phones … NO WAIT, iPhones. Also, iPhone addicts are easy to find out. You just need to go through some of the symptoms mentioned below.
1) Taking out iPhone every 2 minute:
Yes, this is one of the most common symptom. Even if they are in the middle of a desert with no mobile tower in sight for miles along, iPhone users just for the sake of it, will bring out their phones -> unlock -> slide through icon pages -> click home button -> lock, every 2 minutes or in lesser time but not more.
2) Giving iPhone to click a pic:
At a concert or restaurant, when you give your phone to someone to click your group photo, there will always be this iPhone addict who will give his/her ‘iPhone’ along with your phone just to click the same photo instead of getting it from you via WhatsApp.
3) When in an argument:
– If the argument is with some Android fanatic, an iPhone lover/addict is ready to give away his life to win it. If iPhone were a nation, this guy was got to be the most patriotic one.
– Arguments like “iPhone doesn’t have Bluetooth” are simply neglected as if they were Manmohan Singh.
– Constantly repeating “If you don’t have an iPhone, well you don’t have an iPhone” just in case, it can win him/her an argument.
– Would claim that Android hangs and is slower than iPhone as if they had to travel a long distance on it.
– Duh! an iPhone can be jailbroken, what can your phone do? <This line is usually said in Amitabh Bachchan tone of “Aaj mere paas bulding hai, gaadi hai, bungala hai.. Tumhare paas kya hai?”>
In short, the best way to argue with an iPhone addict is:
4) Calibrates slimness:
As mentioned in point, 1) before taking out iPhone after 2 minute, they usually take out somewhere middle after 1 minute just to observe their iPhone from every angle and show the world its slimness. It’s like “Buy an iPhone and get OCD for free.”
5) Obsession with Jailbreak:
The word Jailbreak can simply give them multiple orgasms. ANDROID USERS CAN FLASH THEIR PHONES AND INSTALL CUSTOM ROM AND ALL BUT HEY YOU GUYS STILL DON’T GET APPS FOR FREE. They do also believe that in a race between a snail and an android, snail has a larger possibility of winning.
6) Replace ‘phone’ with ‘iPhone’:
These people don’t say “My phone was switched off.” Instead, they display narcissism and say, “My iPhone was switched off.” If they are ever asked to write an essay on their phones, they might get penalized for distracting from the title.
7) OCD in WhatsApp names:
They have an habit of inserting ‘iPhone’ in any possible way at any possible place. Yes, WhatsApp names be like ‘<insert name>’s iPhone’, in fact, there exists some tweeps who have ‘iPhone’ in their Twitter handles. Here is one fanatic,
What Black Jeans is to a hosteler is what iPhone is to a fanatic.
Next time you spot an iPhone addict, best way to deal with them is
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