There are 2 kinds of people in the world.
1. Those who actively follow Big Boss/Live tweet it/ Get frustrated at evictions and actions of the contestants/Post-Facebook Statuses about how they love a certain contestant.
2. Those who deserve a chance at life.
Now I’m not saying you’re stupid, annoying, dumb, and hopeless for watching this show but on every humanitarian level, you should know you are. (Even though I’m not the one saying it).
Every time you meet a really hot/cute girl, it’s going really well and you’re planning where you’re going to do it in your head and it’s all roses and marshmallows and then this happens:
He: So.. do you watch any tv shows?
She: Ya, I love Big Boss, gullu is my fav <3 <3 <3 <3
He: Gullu?
She: Gautam Gulati yaar.
He : *hand on heart*, Any other show?
She: Ya, I’ve followed all the seasons of Roadies and Splitsvilla.
This is precisely why the term Inverted Erection was coined.
If tv shows were classified into diseases, Big Boss would be Ebola right behind the above-mentioned versions of AIDS and Cancer. Here’s a list of 5 useless things that are still a better use of your time than watching Bigg Boss.
1. Lick Your Elbow
For those who don’t know, this is one of those tasks/things that a human body is normally incapable of (ADIDAS SHOULD GO SUCK THE BIG ONE HERE). If you’re trying that like a moron, you know what I’m saying is true. But hey! Don’t give up trying.
I bet if you spend your entire life trying to do this than watching the show, God still has a place for you in heaven. Yes, spend days trying this, and it will still be more fruitful than watching that show.
2. Watch a Zayed/Fardeen Khan movie
This might be pushing it a tad too far but I still think you’d feel better about your sad life if you were to watch one of their movies than Big Boss. At least Fardeen Khan’s movies have sleazy make out scenes you can try to enjoy if you keep one hand on Fardeen Khan’s face.
And if you don’t crack up just looking at Zayed Khan, re-think your life. On a positive note, I didn’t suggest you to watch RGV ki Aag.
3. Use mind energy to move objects
Since you’re a Big Boss fan, you clearly have a lot of free time on your hands, so why not try and put your brain cells to use (highly unlikely that you’re left with any if you’ve been following the show from the start).
But there’s a good chance that if you concentrate or meditate hard enough, you can move objects around you using your mental energy..
Here’s what that might look like:
4. Convince your Grandmom you’re Not Hungry
There’s a cash prize of 500 Rs if you pull this one-off. Not only is this point encouraging you to leave a useless addiction, but there’s also a monetary incentive to do it. It doesn’t even have to be in person.
Just call up grandma and talk casually and insert *I’m not hungry* into the conversation. Hands down you’d have your mouth-full within the next 10 minutes after you’ve argued your case for like 8 of those 10 minutes.
5. Donate your eyes
If you’re using them to watch Big Boss, I’d advise you donate those eyes to someone in need and perhaps who can put them to better use. It also shows you don’t value the gift of sight as God intended man/woman to and this is probably a fitting punishment for the same.
Still not saying you’re dim-witted for having an interest in the show but if you enjoy bitchiness, random fights over petty issues, and have a thing for following pretty faces, just join Twitter.
PS: While I am penning down this article, thousands of people right now would be voting for their favorite contestant and making them trend everywhere. Some might even be fasting so that their favorite contestant wins tonight.
