Relatives, because ‘People who only remember you during a board exam and make sure they call you to ask your result and compare you with their kid’ was too long to refer to someone you don’t even like.
Relatives are those pop-up ads flashing during a session of surfing Brazzers NDTV news. ‘Atithi Devo Bhava’ was perhaps, even more, a crueler trick than what Kayzer Soze played in the classic ‘The Usual Suspects’.
A relative is like that unexpected (read unwanted) bone that brushes against your teeth during a delightful meal of Butter Chicken. You know, amongst this chaos, what is the best part about a relative? He/She eventually leaves your house.
List of Irritating things Relatives Say
presenting a list of some irritating things relatives often say…
1) “Kitni jaldi bade ho gaye beta?”
“Yes Aunty, shrinking is too mainstream. Also, I hope you were referring to my overall body growth” *guffaws* *gets thrown out of the entire family tree*
2) “Do you remember me?”
“Yes indeed you are so popular. You were the plumber in the sleazy Bhojpuri movie- ‘Pati Fauj mein Patni Mauj mein‘ right?” *gets sued for contempt*
3) “Why are you doing commerce? Science has more scope and more money.”
“I want to be a middle class for life. You see Kejriwal has had a huge impact on my life.”
4) “Do you plan on doing an MBA?”
“I have no ambition whatsoever in life. So! Of course, I am doing an MBA”.
5) “Why are you not doing IIT?”
“The whole world is at Sharda University aunty. WAKE UP!”
6) “Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Mistresses bitch. Girlfriend is way too normal”
7) “Why are you calling me aunty? I am young.”
“I am pretty sure you would not like me saying – Hey hotness. What’s shaking?”
The next time a relative visits your house, invite him/her with a warm smile and walk out of the house before they throw a volley of questions at your cute face.
Please do not respond with the answers mentioned here if asked the above questions. ‘Atithi Devo Bhava’? No, Thank You culture!