Washington. USA. FBI has stopped accepting resignations from its agents and officers. According to our sources, hundreds of FBI agents have submitted their resignation to work for India’s premier investigative agency CBI.
This has worried the American govt.’s, top officials. “We are going to talk to Indian Premier Madam Sonia Manmohan Singh about this phenomenon”
When we talked to a few agents to understand the root cause of this problem. John (name changed) said, “My friend is in CBI and he lives life like a king. I mean, when I have to slog my ass off every day trying to find leads in various cases, he just sits there in his office tweeting!” What about salary? CBI doesn’t pay as well as FBI, for sure.
“That is a myth. Our counterparts in CBI get paid less. But they more than make that up in their side businesses. We cannot do that here. Also, no job security”, says another agent named David. Agent Michael says, “Our entire family has already started practicing how to say ‘Bhaag Bhenchod’ in Hindi. We are looking forward to our stint in New Delhi”.
Hillary Clinton has asked the Indian govt. to make CBI more efficient. In a public speech she said “When our agents see cases like Arushi Talwar double murder or Coalgate scam, they are lured into working for India. This is India’s revenge for all the Brain Drain US companies have caused over the years.
I request Indian PM to look into the matter.” Indian PM being the gentleman he is, has sent her a note saying “Theek hai”.
Many other communities have started thinking of migrating to India. A group of judges has applied for Visa after the death of Quattrochi. “We like the way India believes in natural justice. I think this is what you call ‘Karma’.
What is the point of hanging somebody when he can die a natural death in his 90’s? Another plus point is, I can drag cases as much as I want. We have already started practicing “Agli taarikh” in Indian accent”, said Justice Hutchenback.