Welcome to the Indian Society. Here, we worship women. Bharat Mata, Cow is our mother, India is our motherland. AND we blame women for everything, from bad driving to being rape victims.
How to be the Perfect Indian Woman [Ultimate Checklist]
So here I am, with a tutorial on how to be the perfect woman in our beloved Indian society.
If you’re showing skin, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re showing knees, you’re slutty. You are not entitled to wear what pleases you. NO! You’re a Bhartiya Naari. Wear traditional outfits or you’re asking to get raped.
Don’t step out after 6:00 PM. Don’t step out during the day unaccompanied. If you do, you’re just looking for trouble. It isn’t the pervert’s fault. It’s yours!
#3. Skin color
You can NOT be dark. According to fairness cream commercials, no one will marry you or give you a job unless you’re white as milk. So if you’re even one shade down on one of those shade cards they have, go shower in milk and stock up on fairness cream.
#4. Smiling and talking
That’s flirting !! How dare you talk to a guy with a smile on your face! How dare you compliment him! No! You can’t do that! That’s against the Indian Sanskaars!
“You drink? But you’re a girl! You SMOKE? OMIGOSH! But you’re a girl! How can you !!” Umm. Really? We never realized that !!
You have to know how to cook. Every single dish. If you can’t make round rotis, you’re asking to be shunned. “Who wants to make aloo gobhi when you can bend it like Beckham”.
Your opinions don’t matter. So shut up and learn something that’ll help you in life finding a suitable groom.
Follow these and you’re golden.
Are you wondering, why there are preciously seven rules to be the perfect Indian woman?
Kyuki “Saat subh hota hai na”. And we Indian love “subh things!”
You may also like reading: