Ah, Villains. Those nasty creatures who are a pain in everyone’s ass. Especially the hero’s. They are the reasons why heroes look so awesome. I have always had this feeling that these villains get unfair treatment. They are the ones getting the short end of the stick – and that too, up to their butt-holes!
Now, don’t get me or the title of this post wrong. I am not talking about a typical Bollywood villain (eg Prem Chopra etc) who have coined such legendary dialogues like “Agar tujhe Bhagwaan ke liye chor doonga toh main kya karoonga?” (If I leave you for God, what will I do? — I know, it sounds MUCH more awesome in Hindi).
I am talking about those iconic, super-villains who are intelligent. Those who are realistic, quite unlike our goody-goody impractical hero.
Take the case of ‘The Joker’ (No! Not the Shirish Kunder one) from Batman. First, let me bow down in respect for Heath Ledger’s performance in ‘The Dark Knight’. Now apart from that performance, ‘Joker’ scores above Batman in almost every sense. First of all, he is not a pussy like Batman.
He doesn’t need “shadows” to kick some ass. Also, he is not an Emo. Did you observe how Batman keeps on longing for a girl while she is going all slam-dunk with Harvey Dent or how he doesn’t kill ‘Joker’ even when he gets so many chances because he is a “good guy”? That’s Emo. And gay. ‘Joker’ doesn’t have any such hang-ups.
And he has a low opinion of the people of this world in general. This is practical because admit it- most of the human populace is conniving, manipulative little bitches. Compare this to the goody-goody opinion of Batman who goes all out to save those who ultimately turn against him (and in favor of Harvey Dent- YES, the same guy who had his girl).
In the words of ‘Joker’:
“You truly are incorruptible, aren’t you? You won’t kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever”.
Quite frankly, why the fuck can’t we have a superhero who isn’t gay & emo? Although I must add that if Batman is emo, the “new” Spiderman, from ‘The Amazing Spiderman’ is a fucking disgrace. DIE!
Closer home, we have had gems like ‘Shakaal’ (from ‘Shaan’) who had a super-motherfuckin-kickass hideout – complete with blood-thirsty sharks! You see, the whole point is that the whole time, these iconic villains are shown to be intelligent and realistic individuals. But in the end, they are shown as weak pussies who get beaten blue & black by our hero.
Trust me, if these people really existed, they would have kicked your hero’s ass and flushed him down the toilet along with their turds. But in a movie, directors have to show that the hero wins. They have to show that impractical goodness wins. No director has the balls to stand up and say that heroes are morons.
All they can do is come up with a hideous plan to enter a villain’s hideout and kill him- Just like that! No awesome plans, no mind games – nothing! Whereas a villain plans grand evil schemes while making judicious use of science and technology.
That’s called brainpower! Frankly, a villain with so much brainpower CANNOT lose to a hero just like that. But they do in movies. Pretty unrealistic. Pretty unfortunate.
I sincerely believe that if someone deserves accolades, it’s the unsung villain. He should get the girl in the end, not the idiot hero. Frankly, a girl will have a much exciting life with a ‘Joker’ type character rather than with a brooding, emo hero.
But then, who can argue when you have “goodness” on your side? Fuck this charade. Someday, when they bring out the technology of earning money in sleep, I will be super-rich. Then. Then, I will produce a movie where the best man will win.
