He ironically flaunts his charity organization ‘Being Human’ wherever he goes. The heartthrob of bimbos and the favorite of the aunties. The “idol” of the rowdies and the Bhai of the masses. His mind-boggling films lay all over the 100 crore hall of shame fame.
His films are as senseless as the people who appreciate them. His mere presence on the screen sets cash registers ringing incessantly at the BO. His hysterical laughter, toned body, and constipated dance moves are enough for a film’s success.
9 Mind-boggling Salman Khan movies
There is no need for a story in his movies apparently. Salman’s credo includes a stupid story with some rowdy action and some hotties as co-stars.
9. Veer
Okay! LOL hard because this film was apparently written by Salman Khan. Yes, that is what I found while researching something that the world will never know about. The film is set during the Pindari movement of Rajasthan when India was ruled by the British. Imagining Salman Khan as a medieval hero itself is a very ludicrous idea. This was Salman’s dream project. Maybe he thought of it in his sleep, we will never know. What we know is Sallu Bhai will continue making you question your existence.
8. Ready
Another senseless film in Salman’s kitty which fetched him over 100 crore rupees. I fail to comprehend why does the audience resorts to his idiotic banter when there are numerous other movies to indulge and dive in. The cheap jokes and Asin’s presence probably contributed to the film’s success. The song Dhinka Chika was a rip off of Allu Arjun’s ‘Ringa Ringa’ was heavily responsible for making this brainless movie a runaway blockbuster. The lazy chaddi dance movies were like a fad after the song was aired for the first time.
7. Wanted
This movie actually encouraged the 100 crores nonsensical shit. It was after this flick that the audience supported his other disastrous films which are mentioned. This was an official scene to scene remake of ‘Pokiri’ directed by Prabhudeva. This film had Ayesha Takia. No that doesn’t make it memorable. Ok. Just a little bit bearable. What made it a tad bit more memorable were the Rajnikanthesque action sequences and the silly yet entertaining conversations between Salman and Mahesh Manjrekar. High on raw action and pumped-up action sequences, this film was an instant hit with the rowdy gang.
6. Bodyguard
Salman played the role of a Bodyguard whose duty was to protect his co-star Kareena Kapoor. Our guess is, his only reason to rescue her and keep her alive was to make her dance to ‘Fevicol Se’ in Dabanng 2. This movie was so pathetic in all respects that Bollywood’s sensible audience had lost faith which had to be regained by viewing a few offbeat films combined with porn. The one song ‘Teri Meri’ which a few thought was originally turned out to be the rip-off of a lullaby. Every time Pritam gives his music to a film, we at Campusghanta start a betting pool on the number of days it will take people to realize it was a rip-off. Try it, it’s fun.
5. Dabangg
Salman as a maverick cop itself is an irony! Chulbul Pandey’s antics were so loved by the audiences and critics alike that the movie made close to 200 crores at the box office. Sonakshi Sinha could not have asked for a better debut. Maliaka Arora Khan grooving to the rambunctious ‘Munni Badnaam’ made everyone drool and fantasize about Mrs. Arbaaz khan all over again after ‘Hoth Rasilay’ from Welcome. Salman literally ripped his shirt apart by flexing his biceps was THE scene in this no brainer. The heart-shaped eye gear was the trademark of this pudding headed film. It facilitated a sequel much more disastrous than the “””ORIGINAL”””.
4. Dabangg 2
As I mentioned, Kareena returned the favor of being rescued by shaking and gyrating to the earthy ‘Fevicol Se’ wonderfully sang with a nasal twang by Mamta Sharma. Chulbul Pandey returned to spread stupidity around. The loyal Salman clan welcomed this unwanted sequel with open hearts and empty minds. This film as expected made over 100 crores at the Box Office proving Justice Katju right once again. The same police girl, unrealistic action sequences, and eliminating the bad guys-the Salman recipe for a bad movie once again set the BO on fire.
3. Ek Tha Tiger
Ek Thi Humanity! Ek tha talent! Ek thi Irony! This movie had Salman Khan as a RAW spy. I mean WHY? He was making a wonderful digression from an IPS officer to an inspector to a bodyguard, why the elevation to a RAW agent? This movie was as unrealistic as one can imagine but with THE HUMAN KHAN. Add to it Katrina’s graceful peachy belly dancing and some pulsating heart-racing action sequences. What does this recipe get you? Yes, a disaster to mankind and a 100 crore at the BO.
2. Sultan
After the death of his son, Sultan Ali Khan, a middle-aged wrestler, gives up the sport. Years later, he sets out to revive his career as he needs the prize money and wants to regain his lost respect.
1. Bajrangi Bhaijaan
Pawan, a devotee of Lord Hanuman, finds a girl, who is speech impaired, lost in Haryana. He soon learns that she belongs to Pakistan and sets out to reunite her with her family at great personal cost.
Remember how our parents and Grandparents used to boast about the movies and songs made in their times? Yeah, we can’t do that to our children. It is touted he will be going to jail for his alleged American Express Bakery pavement killings. The only good thing from this is no more Ek Tha Tiger sequel for at least 10 years.
Humanity smiles a little.
