Allow me to test your IQ today. Please have a look at the following list and tell me how many of these bands are American?
1. The Beatles
2. Rolling Stones
3. Led Zeppelin
4. Deep People
5. Iron Maiden
6. Black Sabbath
7. Judas Priest
8. Pink Floyd
9. The Cure
11. The Who
14. Van Halen
15. The Byrds
16. The Allman Brothers Band
17. The Doors
18. Lynyrd Skynyrd
If Barney Stinson were to describe these bands in one word, what would that be?
“LEGEN” – Wait for it- and keep waiting for eternity as they are too legendary to even complete the word. If you believe (which I bet you do) you haven’t heard a single British band in your entire life, as you think rock came from America, well, son hold on tight ‘coz your world’s about to go flippity flop.
Out of the above-mentioned 18 bands how many do you think are British?
And the answer is- With drum roll- Twelve!
Twelve out of the above mentioned 18 bands are British! From Aerosmith and below, it’s all American. And that’s not all. There are many more legendary “British” bands. Surprised. huh? Well, that’s the truth.
I bet, many of you thought Americans ought to be better because whatever they do or anything about them is cool, be it their soaps or movies. Yes, their actresses are hotter but boobs don’t make good songs. Rock is a different ball game! For whatever reason, you think Americans are better at everything just sit back and read coz that ain’t so when it comes to music, rock music, mind you.
Meanwhile, let’s think things over.
So once it gained popularity and started making big bucks, Americans came running out of the blue(s) and started claiming Rock as its brainchild. Suckers ¡¡!!Let me tell you a little story.
Four scores and seven million years ago a great American and learned music saint called Chuck Berry got a hard-on for his blues guitar and they had unprotected sex. Nine weeks later a sound was born, a sound so distinctive, so fierce, so sinful that people called it Satan’s work and threatened to kill it.
So to protect his child the saint left it stranded on UK’s porch on a ‘Rock’ and those British mamas adopted it, nursed it, nurtured it, and made it strong, powerful, and helped it make a place for itself in the industry.
America always lacked the ability to appreciate class and finesse. Take, for example, Jimi Hendrix and Alice Cooper, both Americans, both great performers, and both found widespread success in the UK way before the US was even ready for them.
What began as Classic Rock in the UK transformed into Garage Rock in the US, generally practiced in garages, dealt with high school life traumas had shouted vocals which dissolved into incoherent screaming.
British bands always had a classy artsy feel to their music. Their music had soul, satire, rhythm and those broads knew how to play their instruments well, really well, as opposed to the trashy, party-themed, and barbaric sounding American rock.
British bands had a complex, sophisticated sound and their lyrical world revolved around a lot of things from governments to a day in an ordinary man’s life, from God to Satan, stereotypes and prejudices, angel and monsters, hallucinations and unearthly things and whatnot and of course there was love.
On the other hand, the American bands had almost everything in their songs, about S-E-X, Drugs, and Booze and if it were none of these it was Love. Don’t know how they did it, but they were pretty good at that and still are. Take any song, it would start with a great intro, build up into a party themed world, and the next thing you know the song’s about a guy having sex.
You say grunge is deep, dark, non-trashy (pardon my short vocabulary), and yet Americano. ‘Alright’, I say, but wait, Guvnor, grunge is based on punk and punk is British sire, ever heard of The Sex Pistols?
The bottom line is almost all the sub-genres of rock can trace their roots back to the UK, be it metal, heavy metal, classic rock, hard rock, thrash metal, black metal, death metal (well, actually death metal’s the result of inter-racial sex between American rock and British rock).
So to put it all down in one line I’d say British rock bands are to American rock bands what God is to prophets.
Maybe I say it because I get a hard-on for classic rock and it is a possibility that your opinion may differ. But whatever, British bands always will have the right to say to their American counterparts- Who’s Your Daddy!